Worrying about what others will think is completely normal, but this is your divorce this is how you write your own positive narrative.
Worrying about what others think is completely normal. We are social, tribal creatures; being liked and accepted is hardwired into our DNA. Any situation that puts this at risk is bound to cause anxiety.
When it comes to Divorce, society and the media would have us believe that it is a failure, that you will be judged and lose friends and social standing as a result. The truth is your friends, family and wider groups will judge you. Often this comes from their own perception and insecurities. It is not a reflection of you, and people always judge others - even the classic statement of ‘don’t be so judgemental’ is a judgement in itself. But there are ways to handle this, that allow you to be resilient and move on with pride:
Remind yourself of the legacy of your marriage
Often the ending of a marriage casts a shadow over what has gone before, especially for friends and family. They can remember your wedding and will have created happy memories, seeing you grow as people and potentially create amazing human beings that you would not be without. Your marriage is not something to regret but rather something to look back upon in a positive way., Whatever happened, you will have learnt so much. Being proud of your choices and what you achieved (including this divorce) will help you to move on with your life.
This is your divorce, you write the narrative
Despite what society would have us believe divorce is not a failure, nor does it have to be a blame game – especially if you have children. You are still a family just a different shape. This is your divorce, your life, you can write the narrative and what it means. If you allow yourself to believe this you can create the life you want, be it with a respectful co-parent and happy children who thrive as a result or as a single man/woman. A divorce done well is much healthier than an unhappy marriage for all involved.
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Support someone you love at this time in the best way possible.
To change the impact of divorce on families today ad for future generations, we need to change the stigma.
We're constantly being told that divorce is traumatic, stressful, expensive, and painful. But what if there is another way?