How can you get divorced when there is so much uncertainty and the cost of living keeps going up? Find out here.
Financial difficulties are one of the biggest causes of divorce, therefore it is not surprising we are seeing this rise in applications. However, in my experience, a number of people have been waiting for the no-fault divorce law (which came into effect this April,) and will also have an impact on divorcee rates. What is more worrying is, alongside all the uncertainty for some, divorce feels too expensive to consider, leaving families suffering together under one roof. The cost emotionally and financially to families in that situation is far worse. An unhappy marriage is far more damaging than an amicable divorce.
So, how can you afford to divorce at a time like this and keep your costs down? The only way to avoid escalating costs is to be amicable and in doing so reduce solicitors' fees and court costs that come with lengthy litigation.
Look at what you can control
The trick in times of uncertainty is to focus on what you can control. Invest in your own mindset, and put your energy into what is within your own grasp – your actions, your emotions your behaviour.
Our minds are like sponges, we take in information constantly most of which is subconscious, be careful what you are exposing your mind to. Create boundaries to filter out noise that is unhelpful to your emotional state of mind. This could be the news, social media or even friends and family who may mean well but are causing you anxiety.
Get your ducks in a row
Look into your financial situation, where can you make cuts, and do research on what you can afford and what options are available to you. It may not be as bad as you think, and if it is knowing the extent means you can deal with it. The unknown is far scarier than the reality.
Get the right support
The default for many is to instruct a solicitor and assume they can do everything. In fact, you only need a solicitor for some of the legal elements of your divorce. There are lots of other professionals that can support you with things such as financial and emotional matters who are better equipped and more cost-effective. A financial advisor will be able to help you with budgeting and planning. Whilst a coach will support you emotionally through the process and will allow you to make better decisions and remove conflict that can lead to costly and lengthy litigation.
Chances are your ex has the same concerns and fears as you, and you are both trying to divide one pot of money. So, work together to make that go further for you both. Share a solicitor rather than hire one each. This will also mean you are more likely to reach a mutually acceptable settlement in a quicker time period which reduces cost, time and emotional turmoil. Often these services offer a fixed fee.
Look at prioritising from both sides
Decide what is important to you and where you are willing to negotiate. Then put yourself in the other person's shoes and look at it from their perspective. What is important to them? It may be there is more room for compromise and options when you can see both sides.
The important thing is that you do not stay in an unhappy marriage that can cause much more damage to you and your children now and in the long run. There is lots of support available to you there are also some great free resources here are a few I recommend.
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