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How to change the energy of you home to create a happier, more positive space

8 Apr

Want to change the energy of you home to create a happier, more positive space? Suzanne Roynon explains how.

Mum sitting with young daughter in a light and bright living room smiling.

Have you ever had the feeling your home is working against you?

Interiors Therapy and Feng Shui expert Suzanne Roynon explains how blended families and divorcees can change the energy of their home to create a happier, more positive space to live in.

In the simplest terms Interiors Therapy is a dynamic five step method which clarifies, clears and cleanses the vibe of a home and empowers occupants to create the future they desire.  If you’re under the misapprehension it’s ‘a bit of decluttering’ think again.  Interiors Therapy takes the concept of clutter to a whole new level!

Feng Shui is used to bring balance and harmony to a home and enhance the nine primary areas of life: health, relationships, career, knowledge, wealth, creativity/children, travel/friendships, reputation and family.    

Each home fits into one of these feng shui categories:

  • Good for money and people: this is going to be a happy home where challenges are resolved quickly
  • Good for money/bad for people:  where divorce, illness, behaviour issues happen on repeat
  • Bad for money/good for people:  a happy home as a rule, but there’s never enough money
  • Bad for money and people: this home makes life difficult.  Relationships are strained, money runs away regardless of income.

Undertaking renovations or adding large extensions can change the energy of a home and this is one of the reasons marriages fall apart after remodelling a happy home to create the dream residence. It always pays to assess the implications on the Feng Shui of a property before making significant changes.

Homes with unsupportive ‘bad for’ energy can always be helped with feng shui remedies, and you’ll find many articles on the blog.  Because feng shui magnifies what’s already there, I always recommend using Interiors Therapy to clear any dysfunctional energy connected to your past before implementing feng shui remedies.

Let’s focus on the divorced and blending

For many years ‘keeping the family home’ was seen as the holy grail in a divorce settlement, with (primarily) the woman choosing to stay put, often clinging to the same furniture, décor and possessions. Meanwhile the ex-partner moved on and relaunched their life without looking back. 

Of course that’s a very simplistic way of describing the situation many divorcees find themselves in, and perhaps you are currently in the throes of your own battle to keep the marital home… but you’d be astonished at just how many resentful ex-wives still live surrounded by the energy of their marriage 5, 10 even 20 years later and wish they hadn’t.  Some are even sleeping in the same bed! 

When people find their way to Interiors Therapy they release the past and find the brighter life they have been waiting for. They regret taking so long to do something about it.

Choosing to blend a family with that of a new partner is always going to be a negotiation over another family’s stuff and memories.  That said, it can be financially impractical to ditch everything right at the start.  My advice would always be to travel as light as possible, bring the bare minimum to a new relationship and replace or upcycle to change the way feels as soon as possible.

Cathy was upset by her new partner’s insistence on keeping a horrible painting from his marital home. His intransigence was an uncomfortable reminder of her ex’s controlling attitude.  It wasn’t just the subject matter and artist which made her uneasy, the painting represented the deeply flawed relationship her new partner had come from.  His response was to point out the many photos of her children with their father on her precious photo wall. Cathy had become blind to them and their impact on her new man. When she took the pictures down, he realised he didn’t like his painting at all and sold it. Interiors therapy is a great way to reveal the triggers of subconscious distress and remove them!

The possessions and memories of a previous relationship are hidden psychological sabotage, chaining thoughts and actions to people and situations we prefer to leave behind.  

The interesting thing about physical triggers is that they appear to reinforce patterns.  The new partner exhibits similar behaviour to their predecessor.  For some women it feels they are living in a loop – meet, cheat/abuse/ghost, repeat.  I question whether it’s truly the characters of the men they become involved with, or a subconscious expectation that every relationship will follow the same path which makes it happen? Either way, it’s an important habit to break.  If this is your experience, look around, find the things tying you to the past and give yourself permission to let them go.

Starting afresh deserves to be just that – a new beginning whether solo or blended.  

Keeping things the same “for the kids” might seem like a good idea, but remember the old saying ‘without change, nothing changes’?  It simply traps the memory of the other parent right there with you! Oh and FYI, never keep something out of spite – that’s a fast track to disaster!  By changing the energy of a home and possessions, you make space for magic to happen.

It’s not just women though…

Aaron couldn’t understand why the women he met never stayed.  As a wealthy, attractive man in his early forties with his pristine home and fabulous lifestyle it should have been easy…  Aaron had kept the house in his divorce.  The décor and furniture had been expensive so why change it?  Walking into the lobby on our consultation it felt as though his ex-wife was just in the next room.  We even found her wedding dress under the bed.  It was no wonder girlfriends ran for the hills.  Ultimately he sold the place with the furniture, taking only his clothes and vinyl collection.  He’s now loving his new life as a husband and father.  His happiness glows and so can yours.

 Three first steps in Interiors Therapy

  1. Get a new bed.  A shared bed carries the DNA of everyone who has slept in it. (Euw!)  Skin cells, bodily fluids and the energy of passion, anger, grief and every other emotion experienced there. It’s like sleeping in a festering pot of memories. If funds are limited, start with a new mattress or, as a minimum pillows, duvet and bedlinen.
  2. Remove all reminders of previous partners.  If you can’t bear to part with mementos yet, box them up and store out of sight… just be aware they will always be with you and will impact your life and subconscious even from your parent’s attic.  
  3. Notice when you think about an ex and identify the trigger.  It could be something as trivial as a mug.  Release it from your life as soon as is practical.

One of the things I hear during consultations is “I never realised how much stuff I needed to release”.  That’s precisely the value of getting detached help from an expert rather than a friend or family member who has their own emotional knots to untie. 

An Interiors Therapist doesn’t have a psychological attachment to the origin of stuff or what it cost. Their over-riding focus is the future wellbeing of the client and supporting them to identify anything working against them. In this way the client can make an informed decision on their own terms and step forward into a powerful new beginning.

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