I have grown up believing that being vulnerability is weak.
I started writing this post over two years ago and yet I am only publishing it now...But it has taken me two years to pluck up the courage to publish it. Why? Because it’s honest, it leaves me exposed it breaks down my defences and that makes me vulnerable to other people’s judgement and criticism.
I have grown up believing that being vulnerability is weak. Even as a child I only cried in front of select few of close friends and family. I have strived for success, climbed the corporate ladder by being a ball breaker, I have taken control of situations both personally and professionally and at times be called cold. I have prided myself on being brave enough to take risks and go for what I want - I saw myself as an achiever.
However, three years ago I was vulnerable and it got the better of me. I was a victim of a conman who went on to stalk me. I lost my business, my income, my self respect and confidence overnight. I was terrified and embarrassed. Suddenly I felt weak, vulnerable, and ashamed, facing my family and friends in the wake of being fooled and a victim was too great, I went to ground and became even more private than before. I wrote these blogs because I honestly thought they might inspire and help others but I wasn’t brave enough to publish them. The risk of being judged, criticised or failing again publicly was too great.
Instead I have been a fraud, merrily encouraging others to leave their comfort zone and overcome limiting beliefs, anxiety and fear of rejection and judgement to get what they want for their life without applying it to my own life. Overcoming my own fears.
So here I am practicing what I preach. In a time where anxiety, depression and stress is on the rise, feeding our self doubt and affecting our well being, relationships, career and sense of self, here I am sharing my story, my experience with this blog I hope to create a conversation. To share my experience and addressing the issues that are keeping you stuck - bringing you inspiration, comfort, encouragement and food for thought that might be the difference between you achieving what you want and being scared to fail which stops you fulfilling your dreams.
You will judge me, it’s part of human nature, you will judge who I am, what I stand for, whether I am genuine, knowledgeable or a self obsessed charlatan. You may not like what I have to say, you may disagree, it might go against what you believe. In which case I won’t take it personal.
Or you may find it interesting, inspiring even helpful. I will just be glad I was able to help and brave enough to share it.
After all life is not a dress rehearsal so why waste it.
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